Ow

Until about 2 months ago I had been stung by a bee/wasp/hornet a grand total of once. I remember it clearly. I was about 5 and at my babysitters house. This family was weird. There were about 5 of us girls who went there everyday after kindergarten and the babysitter would order stuff for us off the TV all the time, to be delivered COD, and when stuff would come she wouldn't have any money. It was always so disappointing. You'd think you'd be rocking out to Disco Mickey Mouse by noon, but the UPS dude would come and go with nary an LP left in his wake.

We were playing in the sprinkler one day, and my delicate little girl foot landed squarely on a pissed off insect of the stinging variety. I don't remember pain - just being startled. When people realizd what had happened and the worry and sympathy began rolling my way, I immediately proceeded to cry, as was expected, but I don't remember it actually hurting.


In the past two months I've been stung twice. Once at my friends pool this summer, and once this very night, while I was innocently changing into my pajamas in my bedroom. There was a buzzing disturbance by my head and suddenly, Zap! I felt a sharp pain on my back. That was over an hour ago and it still hurts like a bitch. I found the little fucker and I'm pretty sure it was Africanized, so this may very well be my last post because tomorrow I will likely wake up dead, in which case, it's been fun and see ya on the flip side (what the hell does that mean?).

Once found, I murdered said little fucker violently and thoroughly and flushed him into oblivion (see YOU on the flip side, little fucker!). I was living amicably amongst the bees. I allowed a few indiscretions on their part (they have their basic nature to contend with after all), but I've had enough. This is war. Death to bees!