Bitter With Baggage

T and I found the best book ever one day on the clearance table at Urban Outfitters: Bitter With Baggage Seeks Same: The life and times of some chickens, by Sloane Tanen. The book includes photographs of a series of dioramas with little puffball chickens participating in events/encounters of everyday life.



Apparently, the lovely and talented Ms. Tanen was commissioned by the city of NY, or the MTA, or some friggin' organization to create dioramas of chickens doing NY things. They're in the subways. They're brilliant. She gives me reason to believe in the future of art. She gives me reason to hope.

I heart tennis

I love tennis. I always have. But, you know what makes loving tennis a lot easier lately? The plethora of really good, really hot players.

Case in point: Marat Safin



Holy shit, this boy has really come into his own. I had a dream last night, after watching the Safin/Federer match, that I ran into Marat in a tennis equipment store and he was helping me pick out a racket and then helped me with my backhand. I woke up loving him even more.

I Will Value You, Will You Value Me

Apparently my blog has value.

SpongeBob and Patrick, sitting in a tree . . .

. . . F-U-C-K-I-N-G

I have discovered definitive proof that Focus on Family's claim that SpongeBob is gay and carrying on an illicit relationship with his "best friend" Patrick is absolutely TRUE!



It is quite clear what is going on in the picture. Come to think of it, I've always been suspicious of SB's admiration for Squidward (voiced by the aptly-named Roger Bumpass). Seems SB's not merely gay, but potentially promiscuous as well

The thing is, they look really happy. If only they understood the unearthly torture that awaits them in hell.

I coulda been a model

I coulda, shoulda been a model.

It's really fun to google yourself. Here's me as a toddler model. A todel, if you will.



I spent the day bargain bunting with KA. I bought socks. She did better.

Top NYC experiences of the day:

1. I saw a man sneeze at MOMA and heard fluid hit the floor. Literally: splat.

2. Dapper elderly man at the MOMA gift shop reading a book entitled, "XXX: 30 Porn Star Portraits."

Astoria Guy

I put "Astoria, NY" into google and searched images. This is one of the first ones that came up.

Henceforth, I would like you to think of this guy whenever you think of me in Astoria.

Gettin' Around

I more than made up for my lack of motivation yesterday.

KrisAnne was in town and we were all over the city. I was away from my apartment, mostly on my feet, from 11:00 am to 10:00 pm and I am pooped.

I found the cutest ever pointy pink flats at Filene's Basement for $9. That made my day.

KrisAnne introduced me to the Strand bookstore, where I picked up Paul Krugman's new book, The Great Unraveling, which I am very excited to delve into. He's my favorite economist ever.

I was going to post pictures today, as text-only posts can get pretty boring, but my picture upload site is down for maintenance. Alas, y'all will have to wait to see the glory that is my pointy pink flats.

As much as I would love to post something witty and entertaining, I am too exhausted to string together thoughts, much less type them coherently into my computer. Today I am boring. I'll try harder tomorrow.

Sex and the City

I thought I was going out tonight and I did not, but I watched Sex and the City and they went out, so that's almost the same, right?

Today, day four of project NYC, I did nothing. I think I crashed. And I had my period. And it was cold outside. I needed to rest and so I did. Is that so lame?

There's this hot metal pole in my bathroom and I burned my arm on it. I was literally burned by my apartment. I have pictures, but unfortunately they are being held prisoner by my camera until I find that stupid cable.

My friend KrisAnne is in town for an opera audition. We're going to Daffy's Bargain Clothes for Millionaires tomorrow. I have no idea what it is, but I'm sure it's fabulous if KrisAnne's involved.

I have nothing. I did nothing.

NYC Baby

This is day three of my new life as a New Yorker. I'm still experiencing a little insomnia, so was up at 5:15 am. I putzed around all morning, then went to open a checking account at my new bank, Chase. I selected Chase b/c it's the first bank I encounter when exiting the train. It was close between Chase and Citibank, but I think I still owe Citibank from my credit-induced stupor college days, so I didn't want to alert them to my whereabouts.

Equipped with 8 new checks and a brand new Chase banking card, I hit Manhattan to shop for a mattress pad. With my trusty Not For Tourists book at my side, I quickly found Bed, Bath and Beyond and treated myself to the bottom of the line, $19.99 polyester-fill queen-size mattress pad. I was tempted by the $24.99 waterproof option, but I think I can control myself.

I'm happy to report the my maiden solo voyage into Manhattan was successful in that I got what I went for, I did not end up in Brooklyn or the Bronx, I did not freeze to death or get hit by a taxi, and I made absolutely no kind of fool of myself (that I know of). It was a good day.

I would love to post pictures of my fabulous adventures, but I stupidly packed up the USB cable that connects my camera to my computer and it's currently in my storage locker back in St. Paul. If anyone has an extra win/mac USB cable for an Olympus D-540 send it my way.

Sad Lap Nap

I wonder what's under those shorts.

Kitty Cats

I just realized that I have four posts that reference cats. I believe this makes me weird.

My Cat Hates You

This is a brilliant website. And yes, my cat does hate you.

Albany

I've left the Twin Cities behind and landed in lovely Albany, NY and I gotta tell you, this place sucks. It's rained every day since my arrival and this weather pattern shows no sign of changing. Sorry, Sunday's going to be partly cloudy.

I've shifted my job search to NYC upon realizing that in moving from Minneapolis to Albany, I've essentially moved from 2004 (or thereabouts) to 1993. I want to live in a place that's cooler than me, not that I'm cooler than. And trust me, there are not many places that I am cooler than.

I'll try to post more frequently, but I'm staying with my brother and he's got dial up, which bugs the hell out of me. I finally found a coffee shop that acknowledges the aughts and offers free wifi.

Please, enjoy this very valuable information about the city of Albany, which I currently (sigh) inhabit.

Bellwether

I saw Bellwether at the Turf Club. If you get a chance, see them.

A 22 year old hit on me tonight. I told him, "I guarantee that I am a great deal older than you," and he was having none of it. God bless the drunken youth.

Cuter Pet

Back in the day my cat was pretty damn cute. As old age has set in, though, her whiskers are sagging, her eyes are losing some of their shine, and her fur has gotten a little patchy. I wish I could say that I love her regardless, but I'm far too shallow for that.

Thank God for the Cuter Pet Cosmetic Surgery Clinic!

Perhaps after extensive cosmetic enhancement, she will once again be worthy of my love.

Knee-deep in Voltron

I'm really not much into comics, but Get Your War On is an excellent critique of the events since 9/11 and the Bush administration's lack-luster and often bewildering response(s). And it's fucking hilarious.

Uh oh

I finally broke the news to Eliot that Bush won the election.

Cat and Girl

Visit Cat and Girl and you'll laugh.

Good. Fucking. Question.

Saddest. Day. Ever.

It was actually yesterday, but I didn't bother to get out of bed yesterday.

I'm sick of east and west coasters acting as if they are the only Americans with progressive sensibilities. Did any east and/or west coasters see the electoral map for the 2004 election? It seems to me that the upper midwest was predominantly blue. The only non-blue state is Iowa, and that's too close to call.

I understand that their point is that Kerry got the clear majority of the vote in NYC and on the west coast, while he squeaked by in the upper midwest, but it's still incredibly patronizing to attribute the same conservative inclinations to midwesterners, as to deep-southerners or bible-belters.

I guess I needn't care, as I will soon be one of the elite, progressive, soon to secede east-coasters. Fucking fantastic.

I like this view of North America: