Jack White's a Dick

So, I was hanging out with Jack White at a bar in the lower east side and learned a couple things. What I learned about Jack White is that he is not a monkey, but he may be Albert Einstein.

I asked him to wish my friend a happy birthday (it was her birthday, we were celebrating) to which he replied, "What do you think I am? A monkey in a cage?" I had no response as this seemed a little illogical, so I just asked him again, and he asked me, "If I were Albert Einstein, would you ask me to reconfigure the atom?" Huh?

It got me thinking, though. If Jack White were Albert Einstein, would I ask him to reconfigure the atom (whatever that means)? And if not, what would I ask him? And if Jack White were another dead physicist, what would I ask him? And I realized the potential here is limitless.

So what I'm thinking is, this is the beginning of a great concept album. If Jack White were a dead physicist, what would I ask him? The problem is that I know dick about physics, so I'm going to need some suggestions. So let me know who your favorite physicist is and what you would ask him/her if he/she were Jack White and I'll write a song about it. Or maybe write a poem.